The Facade of Positivity

There was one thing I really hated in North America and that was the cult of positivity which the entire population seemed to be infected with.

The phenomenon is probably not limited to North America, but I would like to think that its culture is the worst offender in the world. When the materialist society promotes all that is superficial above the core values that are truly important, people themselves start to act like that in their social interactions and that’s what I believe has happened to North America and beyond.

Everywhere I went there were people who were secretly miserable but pretended as though everything was fine. “How are you?” would always be answered with “great,” “fine,” “good,” and so on regardless of how the personal actually felt. In social media, people would post pictures of themselves enjoying life to fish for attention and likes. People will pretend to be nice and interested so that they can get something out of you. It has become so normalized that people do it without even knowing it. People are almost forced to do it even if they don’t want to, for they will face ostracism after being labelled as the guy with the “negative” vibe.

People in North America are so fake and vain that they would rather lie to themselves with false positivity, using bullshit affirmations prop up their frail egos. Most prefer to be lied to rather than face the harsh reality. Just look at the television shows and movies they watch, all fake stories designed to make the audience feel good about themselves and the world they live in. These are pathetic individuals who need to get drunk just to “be themselves.” I’m not surprised that so many people there need to take recreational or prescription drugs to alter their moods.

In a fake society, the concept of honour is dead. Promises are made only to be broken; words become meaningless. Other human beings are practically objects to feed one’s individualist ego. People start to become near psychopathic with the way they calculate and maneuver in their social interactions, and not only that, it’s starting to be promoted as a virtue. I’ve had people who hate me and have nothing for contempt for me say hi and even try to get me to open up. I fell for them and thought they were genuine about trying to improve relationships and mend differences. But no, it was just all ruse. People of degenerate societies have no compassion, no humanity. Fake smiles, fake compliments, fake kindness, all were tricks to get a certain reaction out of me.

So entrenched was this culture of fake positivity that I felt like I didn’t belong. I felt guilty for not being positive all the time like the others. Others, too, noticed how “negative” I was and tended to avoid interacting with me. Imagine that: fake people being afraid that their facade will shatter by simply interacting with a man who refuses to wear the mask.

And because people have to suppress their own negative feelings of anger, sadness, frustration, hate, fear, and anxiety, they all end up going to the internet to vent out and troll. Some will do this under the guise of political ideology so that it feels like the negativity they release on to web is not all in vain.

I look back and it makes me bitter to think of all the times I’ve been lied to. Even all the reassurances and pretend-caring were just fake words to keep me controlled. I would have much preferred to have been told of the reality that I was facing, that I was being a loser, that I should snap out of it and start doing something about it. Instead, all I got were lies.

I’m glad I finally escaped the decadent land that is North America, but I’m still struggling to rid myself of its influence. I still find myself faking, covering, and repressing. I still find it hard to be genuine and real. I can’t get rid of the looming cynicism after having been lied to all my life. I really want to get rid of this impulse to behave as if I’m someone I’m not; I have no need for it.


  • Johnny Grube

    I’m 48 love the blog. A long time ago even in my teens
    I was taught to be careful to never let down my guard
    and never tell your weakness, because it will be used
    against you. I have made it habit to never ask ANYONE
    how they are unless I really care, which most times I
    don’t.

    Positivity is important until it becomes a negative. People
    spend to much time lying to themselves, instead of doing
    and saying what they want they hide, because of what people will think of them.

    Basically, be who the fuck you want!

  • Pingback: Why They Lie | Society of Amateur Gentlemen()

  • We Americans always ask “How are you?” because, deep down, we don’t give a shit. Our concern is just like our fast food restaurants – all marketing and no substance.

    Our optimism is, like everything else in the United States, only superficial. Our famed positivity is just a sort of cultural packaging, distracting attention from the actual contents.

    Exactly what is there just beyond the surface of the American personality? We are frightened of what we might possibly find.