A girl I know once told me that she considered me as a friend. I was confused because I didn’t see how we would be considered friends. It wasn’t as if we hanged out outside of work, shared activities together, or were intimately connected in any way. So what is the basis of this so-called friendship?
To me, a friend is someone I am intimately connected with. He is someone I can trust with my life to death. A friend is someone you share your life with in both good times and the harsh times; he is not someone you occasionally meet from time to time for chatter. Friendship must also be based on honour. For this reason, it is impossible to be friends with women (especially modern women) as they are not capable of acting with honour.
The reason that girl called me a friend is because friendship has become cheapened in today’s world of Facebook and smartphones, where ‘friends’—represented by numbers and ‘likes’—are merely people you share pictures and short messages with.
The word ‘friend’ is quickly losing its value and meaning in our modern world as both the quality and quantity of friendships are suffering a great decline. While we’re supposedly more connected than ever before due to social media, real friends are decreasing in numbers and young people of today are feeling more and more lonelier than those of previous generations. This is a serious problem for many as the negative health impact of loneliness has shown to be as bad as smoking, alcohol, or being obese with increased risk of premature death also being present.
This epidemic disconnectedness can only be seen as a segment of a greater problem that is our modern living conditions. We are increasingly systemized to work as machines do and are disconnected from having intimate contact with nature and other human beings for much of our days. Our relationships are increasingly superficial and limited to contacts via social media and mobile devices. The vast magnitude of media and entertainment that surround us lead us to spend less time with others so that we can sedate ourselves with pictures and sounds as passive spectators. And when we do spend time with others, much of it is on the basis of entertainment or as shared experience of being a spectator. Even the more sacred relationships between man and a woman to form a family is being destroyed by gender antagonism as divorces break families and young men increasingly refuse to venture into matrimonies.
Modern society destroys all genuine human relationships because the System benefits from it. Just as with modern health problems, it is a byproduct of trying to systemize humans for maximum productivity, towards maximum consumption, for maximum profit.
Humans in the primal times lived in small tribes where everyone was closely bonded with one another and depended on one another for survival. You must realize that, as a man in a modern society, you live in unnatural conditions for which you are not suited for. Living in urban centres along with millions of strangers is antithetical to healthy social and mental development of any human being. Anyone who manages to form healthy and intimate relationships should be seen as exceptions that exist in spite of the prevailing conditions rather than as the norm.
Finding people outside of your family that you can truly trust and bond with is not easy today. I won’t pretend to have the answer to this problem. The only thing you can do is to remain true to yourself and not be pressured into acting against your own genuine self for the sake of fitting in. Only then will you attract the right type of people into your life.